Tell Me
by Bekah Rose
Summary: Giles is keeping Buffy company while Joyce is in hospital Season 5 . But, what Buffy doesn't know, is that not all things from the past get swept under the carpet.


**Tell Me.**

**Author:** Bek Allen

**Title:** Tell Me.

**Pairing: **Buffy/Giles

**Disclaimer: **Me? I own nothing. Not a thing. Buffy and Giles and Willow and Xander and Joyce and Angelus are all the property of Joss Whedon. I'm just messing about with them for the sole purpose of I can yet I'm in total debt to Joss and Co, for making such great characters.

**Distribution: **GilesRulesBaby, BFA, FF.net, TBS and anyone else that wants it.

**Notes: **This was made in the space of three hours. On a whim no less. The dream is between these type thingies ~*~*~*~ and this is my first, serious angsty piece. So please go easy on me. It was also a Challenge made by Sus at GilesRulesBaby. Challenge requirements are as follows. I only hope I did the challenge justice.

**Challenge:** Ok. Here's the thing. There are a lot of fics out there dealing with Buffy's angst the summer after she kills Angel. Her running away. Giles trying to find her. Yada yada yada. What Giles went through is more or less simply hinted at. Tiny shreds and bits. Innuendo. Hearsay from the Scoobies.

There are lots of fics where Buffy is plagued by assorted nightmares and goes running to Giles. Either for comfort or for sleep overs because she is safe enough there to sleep.

 And sure. There have been mentions of his scars, but even that has been glossed over with a mild apology.

So. What if it becomes necessary for Buffy to sleep over at Giles for a few days?  For whatever reason: demon termites or possessed jell-o cups. Something she needed out of the house for. And so, once there she discovers that Giles has wicked bad nightmares about what Angelus did to him. Even after "all this time" and her thinking it was past and "forgotten". That some nights getting drunk is the only way he can deal without going insane or committing suicide.

And then she finds him on his knees in the bathroom having vomited until there was blood...all from the nightmares. And she realizes for the first time just how much he has been drinking and how often. Just to survive. But at the same time he is there in only his boxers and she sees all the scars and for once simply puts her hand on his back and says, "Tell me".

It would have to be a b/g of course. Sex is always good. It could be angst ridden but a sound, positive b/g in love finish. Wouldn't matter which season.  In fact may be more powerful if it is much later so she realizes how long he has been in pain and been alone and she oblivious...while he was always there for her. And any people could be alive or not depending on the timeline? But maybe no Dawn. I never liked dawn. Or if dawn she is...elsewhere.

So what do you think? Is it enough someone might wanna work with it?  Sus

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She lay looking up at the ceiling, drawing patterns in the lights shining in from the window. Her mom had been in the hospital for two weeks now, and each of the Scoobies had decided it best if they took turns in staying with Buffy until Joyce had returned. Willow and Xander had already shared the last week with her, Xander practically eating her out of house and home. Tonight however, as designated by Willow, was Giles' turn to stay and keep her company.

Buffy grinned as she pictured Giles asleep in the guest room. Her and Willow had jokingly decided that, if there was a time to find out if Giles were really a stiff, upper lip British gentleman, then this was it. Rolling over, Buffy's grin widened as she imagined herself in the guest room curled up next to Giles. 

"Safe as a… safe thing," She yawned before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

He could feel warm blood trickle down his hands as the rope cut into his wrists. His vision was beginning to blur through all the pain, each new ache cutting through him like a knife. He flinched slightly as Angelus moved to replace his glasses.

"Hey, Uh… How you holdin' up?" Angelus smirked as he slid the glasses up the Watcher's nose.

"Never…better." Giles replied with a small smirk, the ropes around his wrists biting into his soft flesh.

"Glad to hear it." Angelus' grin widened, "Now, tell me when it hurts."

The feel of cold flesh on his own made Rupert's eyes open wide, suddenly, the sound of bones popping and snapping filled the room and he had to close his eyes for fear of what would happen next. 

"Come on Rupert, it's no fun if you don't watch." Angelus laughed and let go of Giles' fingers, allowing the hand to fall against the back of the chair with a soft thud.

The pain shot through his hand like wild fire and up his arm, biting down on his tongue to hold back his scream, Giles looked up into the yellow eyes of the demon. "I w-won't… scream." He replied, struggling to control his breathing.

"That's okay." Angelus replied, his voice even and calm. "Because, I haven't even started yet." The smile on his lips spread slowly as he reached for the dagger he had left on the table three feet away from the barely conscious Watcher.

Giles bit back the sob as he saw the blade catch the light from the torch on the wall. In a vane attempt to get away, he clenched his fists and pulled once more against the bonds. His hand was throbbing and the blood from his wrists was beginning to clot. Silently, he stopped his struggling and closed his eyes until he felt the cool metal pressed against his throat.

"I told you it wasn't any fun if you didn't watch." Angelus said, his eyes flashing brightly.

Slowly, he began to make small cuts across Giles' chest; each one eliciting a small moan until finally; Angelus drew the knife across his stomach in one long motion. Giles' scream echoed throughout the mansion.

~*~*~*~*~ 

Buffy's eyes flew open as the blood curdling scream ripped its way through her dreams. Like a shot, she jumped out of bed and pulled the stake from its hiding place beneath her Psychology book. Counting to five, Buffy slowly opened the door as a dark figure rushed past her and into the bathroom.

"Giles?" She gently knocked on the bathroom door. "Are you okay in there?"

"F-f-fine." He replied quietly before the urge to vomit became too strong again and he bent over the toilet bowl.

"No you're not Giles." Buffy crossed her arms over her chest as the sound of him being sick reached her. "Giles please let me in." She knocked on the door again.

"R-really Buffy, I'm alright." He bent over the toilet bowl as flashes from his nightmare began to invade his mind again.

"Liar," Buffy mumbled as the sound of his vomiting reached her again. Effortlessly, she kicked the bathroom door open and stepped inside. "Oh God, Giles!" Her mouth fell open as the scars on his back and chest were revealed to her as he sat back from the toilet bowl.

"Go on to bed Buffy. Please." He reached for a towel to cover his chest, the sudden movement causing him to feel the bile rise up into his throat again and he quickly leaned over the toilet. 

Buffy's eyes filled with tears as she watched the thick, red liquid spill from his lips. "Giles… you're not okay, you're throwing up blood." She grabbed the towel from the basin and slid down beside him, her fingers trembling as she stroked his back. When he stopped, she handed him the towel to wipe at his mouth.

He moved to the other side of the toilet bowl, his back against the shower stall. "H-honestly Buffy it's nothing, just an upset stomach."

"Giles, I might not be the best cook in the world, but, upset stomachs don't lead to vomiting up blood. Please, don't lie to me." She looked up from the floor, her gaze traveling over his exposed body, her eyes falling on the scar that traveled across his belly. "I… I heard you scream." Her tears where falling silently. "What happened? Was it a nightmare?" She looked up at his face, finally tearing her eyes away from the scars that marked his torso.

He nodded slowly as he managed to cover his body with the towel he'd been reaching for.

"Tell me." She moved closer and grabbed his hand. "Please?"

Sighing softly, he began to tell her of his nightmare and how he'd had the same one every night since Xander had come to take him from the mansion. "It was Angelus. He, he was trying to, to break me. Make me tell him the secret to opening Acathla. These and the nightmares are all that's left now." He fingered the scars across his chest gingerly. "He began by breaking my ribs, the doctors at the hospital said I was lucky I hadn't punctured a lung. Then, he broke my fingers, one by one. I can still hear the sound of the bones popping and scraping as he bent them back far enough to touch my wrists." He closed his eyes, trying to erase the image his words had created.

Buffy's face had drained as she sat stunned on the bathroom floor listening. "Oh God, Giles."

He shook his head and stood up. "It's okay now Buffy, go back to bed."

"Yeah Giles, I'll just, its okay. I'll clean up here first." She watched him walk out of the room before her tears began to fall silently.

He sighed as he closed the door to the guest room. Quietly, he turned on the lamp and pulled his bag out from the cupboard. Rummaging around in his overnight bag, he pulled out the bottle of scotch and unscrewed the cap. He lifted the bottle to his lips and grimaced slightly as the amber liquid slid down his already burning throat. He had already downed half the bottle when there came a soft knock at the door.

"Giles?" Buffy stood waiting outside the room until she thought he was safely tucked into bed.

"Bloody hell Buffy! I'm fine! Go back to sleep." He had placed the bottle on the nightstand when she had knocked on the door, and reaching for it again, he knocked it over, spilling its contents over his pillow.

She burst into the room, her eyes flashing like lightning. "I will not go back to bed Giles. I can't." She picked up the bottle and looked at it. "This never helps Giles. You KNOW it never helps." She threw the bottle out into the hall, flinching as the sound of breaking glass hit the carpet.

"You can't go back to bed?" He looked at her incredulously. "I haven't been able to go to bed for three years Buffy. Do you know how close I came to just leaving? Do you?!" He looked at her, his face red with anger. "No, I didn't think you did." He replied when she said nothing.

"Giles, I never meant for any of this to happen." There were more tears down her cheeks as she felt each sob tear at her heart. 

"No, you never do. You never mean for anything to happen Buffy." He looked at her, his voice full of contempt. "Did you ever stop, just once, while you were… were gallivanting around Los Angeles, to think about what had happened to me? Did you? I didn't think so." He sat down on the bed, exhaustion starting to take over.

"I didn't think…" Buffy sat down on the end of the bed, her face wet with tears.

"Of course you bloody didn't. You didn't think when Angel returned that maybe I'd like to know that my captor, who had maliciously tortured me for hours on end, not only physically, but mentally, was back in town. But then again, why should I be surprised? You didn't even think maybe Willow and Xander needed you before you ran away, let alone me for that matter." His voice had taken on an eerie calm and Buffy could hear his labored breathing.

"Did you even, for one moment consider that, I didn't make it out alive? That maybe Xander had to carry a dead man, YOUR dead Watcher from the mansion? I bet that thought didn't even cross your mind. I suppose it's a bloody miracle that you even decided to return to Sunnydale."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me?" She looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy in the light of the lamp.

"Tell you? Tell you what? That, your boyfriend, the evil soulless thing, had tortured me so badly, had left me so broken, that the only choices I had left were drinking myself into oblivion or taking a razor and finishing off the job he started?" He looked down at his wrists; the scars from the rope had faded long ago with time. "Would you have liked me to tell you that, my nights where plagued with the memory of being beaten till I was black and blue and that I was just ready to let him kill me?"

"Yes." She whispered softly.

He scoffed. "And when would you have liked me to tell you this Buffy? When you were keeping Angel's return from me? Or when you were moping over his leaving Sunnydale and you? Possibly even when you were helping The Initiative find demons to create their own kind of robot-demon army?"

"I would have listened Giles! I would have sat down and listened." She cried as she reached for his hand. "And you don't know half of what I went through in Los Angeles. There must be at least three dozen letters in my room addressed to you but never sent."

"I don't care Buffy. You have absolutely no idea what any of us went through. You ran away to suit your own needs and purposes, not even when you returned, where you dignified enough to ask us what happened. You swept everything under the carpet, you pretend like nothing ever happened. Well guess what, I'm living proof that it happened, just look at me. It was hard enough to explain to Olivia what the scars were from. A person can only have so many car accidents before the lie doesn't work anymore.

"Now, if you don't mind. I'm tired, and I'd like to try and get some sleep." He rose and turned his back on her.

Silently and swiftly, she rose too, her hand pressing lightly to his back. "I'm staying. Here." 

He turned, his face full of the exhaustion that he was beginning to feel, the dark circles under his eyes were more visible then they were during the day. "Buffy, please, I'm exhausted; I don't think I can handle anymore arguments tonight."

She shook her head softly, "No arguments here. Just, I wanna stay. Someone's gotta keep an eye on you while you sleep. Chase away the bad dreams." She reached up slowly and caressed his cheek. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt so badly." She whispered softly as she wrapped her arms around his midsection in a warm hug. "I promise, I'll die before it ever happens again."

Giles stood still until Buffy had let him go; he nodded silently as she waited for him to climb into bed. Silently, she pulled his covers tight around him and waited for him to drift off to sleep. Tiptoeing around to the other side of the bed, she crawled in beside him, her fingers gently stroking his hair as he fell into a deep sleep.

After a while, he grew restless, silently, she bent down and kissed his forehead and started to curl her fingers through hair. "Shh, it's okay Giles. I'm here." He rolled over and into her arms and she brushed away her silent tears.

He moaned softly in his sleep, clutching at Buffy tightly. 

"Tomorrow, first thing Giles, you're going to tell me okay? I love you too much to see you like this." Slowly, Buffy felt herself drift off to sleep, her arms wrapped protectively around Giles.

Slowly, Giles' eyes opened and he wiped away the tears, blinking away the memory of seeing Angelus' vicious grin over Buffy's still form. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he whispered softly into the night, "I love you too Buffy," Before closing his eyes again and letting sleep finally claim him.


End file.
